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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “really delusional”, he explains. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his actions, leaving him especially susceptible to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have NPD after looking up his traits through digital sources – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. But, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t previously arrived at that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been identified with narcissism for decades, it’s not always clear what is meant by the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, due to so much stigma associated with the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Though up to 75% of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, research indicates this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she says, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I often enter a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Even with this response – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her support system, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked positive role models during development. I’ve had to teach myself all this time the difference between and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my family members were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: The estimate was it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a small circle about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number